Monday, September 26, 2011


Wondering how much he cares, how much he loves me and how much he understands me. Somehow I don't feel that he does very much anymore and neither does he try to understand me. The longer we are apart, the lesser love I feel from him. Maybe there is someone else, or maybe the most common excuse men always give which is that they are busy, or maybe he just no longer appreciates having me anymore or maybe I'm just asking for too much. The whole distant relationship makes me wonder whether if I really am by his side, will he be there for me if I needed him and will he prioritise me first. I never felt that I was the main priority in his life even from the beginning of this whole relationship. I always felt secondary to him comparing to everything else.

I know that I love him so much that I am willing to make lots of sacrifices. I love him too much to let him go but I'm just afraid that I'm going to be with a man who will take me for granted, who will not put me first in his life, who will never be there for me.

It hurts so much right now. Maybe he will never be there for me and maybe I'm not worth it for him. Maybe...

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