Why am I awake now???

It's 3.00am now. I'm still wide awake. I should be going to sleep but I couldn't. Or maybe there is just too much in my mind. I had been back in Malaysia for more than 2 weeks. I thought I would managed well being back here but apparently I was wrong. I should have known better since it's the same thing every time I'm back here.

I'm missing him a lot. I just can't wait to be with him. It's tough to be so far away from him and i guess now is the time i wish he is next to me. I wish I could pour my feelings to him, telling him how sad I am right now, crying out loud on his shoulder, but I couldn't. It is even worse knowing that he isn't feeling well and I should be there to support him instead.

Somehow it's so strange that the home I was growing up now is a place that treats me like stranger. Family that was supposed to love me unconditionally all seemed so distant to me. But thinking positively, this means I can leave with lesser attachment towards this place which was once called home.